This Week's Contest: You are on Jeopardy! These are your answers. What
are the questions? First-prize winner gets an autographed copy of "Dave
Barry Slept Here," his handsome, hardcover volume on American history,
entirely in Japanese. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style
Invitational losers' T-shirts. Honorable mentions get the mildly
sought-after Style Invitational bumper stickers. Winners will be selected
on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 125, The 
Washington
Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071; fax them to
202-334-4312; or submit them via the Internet to this address:
losers@access.digex.net. Internet users: Please indicate the appropriate
Week Number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before
Monday, Aug. 14. Please include your address and phone number. Winners
will be announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the right to alter
entries for taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchase necessary. The
Faerie of The Fine Print & The Ear No One Reads thanks Ken
Krattenmaker of Landover Hills for today's Ear No One Reads. Employees of
The Washington
Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.
| [Illustration] |
| ILLUSTRATION;ILLUSTRATION,,Bob Staake;ILLUSTRATION,,David Harr/clifton Skoczylas/ewa Skoczylas CAPTION: Tinker to Evers to Packwood One. Definitely Only One. The world is my dumpster. Three men and a crayfish Apollo 178 Grant's Pants Very, very fat mice (the symbol for Prince, divided by pi) (Jeffy from "Family Circus") Here's a hint: It's yellow. Fred and Ethel Van Beethoven Sally Struthers and Homer, the blind poet Report from Week 122, in which you were asked to come up with a new plot development for "Peanuts." But first, a brief logistical note. In the last three years, The Style Invitational has become something of a Washington institution, in the sense that St. Elizabeth's is something of a Washington institution. We have been getting increasingly disturbing mail from persons who are Fine Just Fine Just a Little Bit Upset Is All; they are alarmed at the prospect of the Invitational going on August sabbatical as we did last year. Relax. The Czar has enlisted the services of a trusted toady. She will run the next few contests with the same finely honed sense of humor that has made this contest into a cherished part of the lives of thousands of individuals with borderline personality disorders. And last, thanks to Harry J. Hewson of Dale City, who points out that "Bob Staake" is an anagram for "A B.O. Basket." Second Runner-Up: (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge) First Runner-Up: (Story and artwork David Harr, Clifton and Ewa Skoczylas, Centreville) And the Winner of this framed, signed Bob Staake fax art: (Sarah Worcester, Bowie) Honorable mentions: Snoopy dies after heroically saving little April Patterson from drowning. (David Avagliano Treber, Silver Spring) The "Peanuts" strip is the subject of a boycott by PETA when they determine that Snoopy's doghouse does not afford him adequate sleeping space and ventilation. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon) Spike, the desert-dwelling dog, discovers peyote. (Glenn Conlon, Jennifer Garrison and Henry Kivett, Burlington N.C.) Snoopy the Vulture eats some rotted meat and dies. (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax) Charlie Brown appears in a charity baseball game featuring Cal Ripken Jr. and beans him, ending the streak. (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax) After years of pining for her with unrequited love, Charlie Brown finally gets a letter from the cute redheaded girl. It is a restraining order. (Paul Styrene, Olney) CAPTION: JOE TERRORIST (Jon Frandsen, Takoma Park) CAPTION: THE PROCTOLOGIST IS IN (Bill Moulden, Frederick) Next Week: Why is Poop Funny? |
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